A Presence in Dreams 

10” x 8”

1987, further work 2009

colored pencil, acrylic, gold leaf, leather, rhinestones

A visual confrontation and reconciliation with God, “A Presence in Dreams” remains one of my pivotal works.  It’s an example of what one writer coined “Gothic Realism,” which is a term I’ve embraced.  The work was originally created in 1987, later becoming part of the “Three Realms Triptych” in 2009, after some additional work on the drawing.  Here, I’m the confronter (hand) and the confronted (female).  The three, haloed shadows in the background are my Shadow Saints, rampaging through a landscape where a church has caught fire.  The androgynous female is an extension of my gender-fluid self, which has been an ongoing theme since the 1980s.  As an angry but reconciled gay Catholic, who literally suffers from migraines that distort my vision, the exclamatory inscription on the upheld hand, “WHERE IS GOD IN MY EYES,” has a two-fold meaning.  I have also referred to this work as “A Subconscious Holy Land.”